Chipping away at Ignorance
Wow, it has been almost a month since I blogged. I told myself I had only missed one or two posts. Good lie, Amy!
Honestly I haven't known what to write. I wasn't sure if I should write about Black Lives Matter and was honestly afraid to show my ignorance. But anything else I thought about writing didn't resonate or felt so unimportant in the midst of what was and is happening.
I read posts where white people need to just shut up, I read that silence is violence...
Lives matter, one wouldn't think that would be a difficult topic, well duh, lives matter and of course Black Lives Matter. But the rub is that Black Lives haven't mattered historically and into today.
I wasn't raised in a diverse community, my children were also not raised in diverse communities. I'd like to say this wasn't intentional and consciously we didn't say let's find a white neighborhood to live in but that is exactly where we landed and maybe this was unconsciously.
I didn't really think about it, full disclosure I didn't think about racism.
I started at the University of Denver in fall of 2010 and it was in my graduate program that I started to educate myself about microaggressions that people of color experience daily. I learned about so many inequities experienced by different races, classes of people, economic status'. I want to type I didn't know but the reality is, I didn't try to know or pay attention, I had spent my life looking down.
I had a class where we discussed if we were walking at night and a black man was approaching how would you feel? I'd feel cautious, but I would also feel cautious if a white man was walking toward me. I am a woman.
I know it isn't on the same level. But I do feel as women and as women with female children we have experienced a level of fear on a smaller scale.
I started talking to my girls at a very young age and continue to talk to them today about what it means to be a woman in America. Needing to always be aware of their surroundings. Don't go out at night and if you do have a friend with you. Don't take a drink at a party from anyone, don't set your drink down. If a cop is pulling you over go somewhere where it is light, if possible people around. Again, I am not pretending it is the same, but it does lend just a little bit of insight into how mother's of children of color feel sending their kids out into the world. Fearful.
I read how it is difficult to come out against a system that I myself have benefited from, how to navigate that, be an advocate but not hypocritical.
I don't have answers but I can continue to education myself, chip away at my own ignorance.
If I have said anything here that is offensive, I am truly sorry, not my intention.
Peace & Love